I am not a pushover

I'm just back from Spring Harvest. I usually like to get away for a few days after Easter, I call it "The week for clapped-out clergy" Usually I go away to some large Christian gathering, it was "Easter People" for many years, and when that ceased, I transferred my allegiance to "Spring Harvest"

In many ways I come away quite enthused, with ideas to bring back to circuit, and plans to work on in the future. This year was no exception. The create zone was fantastic. Even though I am no artist by any stretch of the imagination, I got a lot out of making things (garlands, sketch maps of my locality etc) and not only the making, but the thoughts and prayers behind it, eg in your locality are there any "no-go" areas? Mark them on the map and pray for these places. It was very meaningful.

Some of the seminars in the afternoons were also useful for training and ideas. One, "The church after Google" was very informative about church life, and in particular church advertising in a digital media age.

But where I have more of a problem is with the worship held every evening in the Big Top. Usually I've looked for an alternative celebration, but as there weren't that many on offer this year (I did go to one called Fusion aimed at 18-30s, and whilst I was welcomed, being the other side of 40, I felt old enough to be their dad - probably because I am !)

I don't know of it's an age thing or what, but this next comment is going to make me sound like a grumpy old man - and it's something I never thought I'd hear myself say!

Can we please have some music we know ??

Now I know that is a not infrequent comment after I have led a service, but at least when I introduce new hymns, it is only one or two out of a total of 5. In the big top worship there's barely a hymn / worship song I'm even halfway familiar with. Then they get sung over and over again, which I suppose does mean that if you are listening and trying to join in then there's half a chance you might get familiar with the music by the time it's finished - but I'm sorry, quarter of an hour or so of 2 or 3 like that is just too much for me. I usually end up seated by the time they're finished, and I'm not the only one. Indeed, I discovered that some people watch from the chalets - something I've known about all along. This may be for various reasons, perhaps babysitting or simply having the chance to have a night in as a family. Or perhaps it's also that others find the big top too big and too loud.

Then there's the preaching. Now, all the talks / sermons / addresses that I've heard have contained some good stuff. But in many cases it's been spoiled by shouting. The first night I was in the big top was one such occasion. I was getting quite into what the preacher had to say, I'm sure there were many who could relate to her, but then she started shouting, and although she'd have continued to have my attention meaning that I'd pay attention to the good points she was making had she been a bit quieter, shouting at the top of her voice wrecked it for me, and, I later learnt, for at least one other. We can hear you, there are microphones, there's no need to shout.

But perhaps where I have the most problems is with the response. Now I accept that there is a response to worship - it means that we have to do something to say "Here I am, Lord" and there is a place for that. But please don't become manipulative about it.

My second night in the Big Top, there was a call to come forward. Some did to become Christians and make a commitment for the first time. That was fantastic to see and very encouraging. Then there was a call for those to come forward if they wanted prayer for another touch from the Holy Spirit. As I had been feeling pretty flat and not totally able to engage with the worship for the reasons mentioned above, perhaps against my better judgement, I went forward at that stage.

I'm not against receiving prayer but I was concerned when the speaker placed his hand on the top of my chest almost as an attempt to push me over.

I am not opposed to God knocking people flat if that is how He chooses to move in a person's life, but I do object to someone trying to give a gentle push to give the impression that this is what God is doing.

Some months ago now, Derren Brown, an atheist did the church an enormous favour when he exposed faith healers and other preachers of this ilk and showed that what they are doing can be explained by manipulation. It was a fantastic programme, which those who are genuinely seeking to follow Christ have nothing to be alarmed about.

When I perceived happening at Spring Harvest that night was not far short of that.

By all means pray for people. By all means pray for healing. By all means, pray that they will be filled with the Spirit. But don't try to manipulate them. I am not a pushover.

Much as I like Spring Harvest and am already planning to go to Minehead week 3 next year, I do not see myself being part of the main celebration in the Big Top again.