A warm welcome to all – but not to the coffee morning?
Last week I was at the Edinburgh festival and fringe. It’s
absolute chaos and madness, but I love it and I’ve been for the past 11 years.
There’s plenty of scope for blogs in that alone, and indeed, if you look back
over the pages of this blog in years gone by, you will see some reviews of
various shows.
This is about something different, something that I’ve been
thinking about for some time, but an experience in Edinburgh which brought it
into focus.
To say that Edinburgh is busy during the festival is the
understatement of the year. It is packed. Hotels are packed, and far more
expensive than usual, restaurants do a roaring trade and you cannot get a seat
in a coffee shop for love nor money.
That said, I did find a café which was quiet. It was the café
at the city of Edinburgh Methodist Church. I went in, ordered a scone and coffee,
had a chat with the guy behind the counter as the drink was being made, then
sat quietly, enjoyed the refreshments and read part of a book I’d brought. As I
was leaving, I had a chat with one of the stewards who explained that in the
church, as in Edinburgh in general, nothing is “normal” during August. I fully understood
that. Also, I will say that by the time I was leaving, the café was getting
busier
So, what’s unusual about that? Well, on face of it,
nothing. But on another level, it is a vastly different experience from my
usual dealings with church cafes and coffee mornings. There have been a number of
times over recent years when I have been visiting another area of the country,
passed a church (usually a Methodist church) with a sign advertising a coffee
morning, I’ve stood outside – and then realised that I just cannot bring myself
to go in. Why? Well, part of it might be that I’m an introvert, and I don’t find
going into new social situations easy, but also part of it is that a single man
in church tends to stand out like a sore thumb.
On the occasions when I have been to events at churches where
I’m not known, I tend to get either the full 20 questions treatment – what brings
me to this neck of the woods? – where do I come from? – what do I do for a living?
(That’s always a good one in church!) or downright suspicion – What does he
want? What’s his business here?
Now I recognise that the 20 questions might be just people
trying to be friendly and said with the best will in the world, but I don’t
always wish to be on the receiving end of it. As for the suspicion, yes, I
could certainly do without that.
Also, I know it might seem a bit anti-social
to some, but how many church cafes are there where I can sit and read quietly and
not have anyone bothering me? All these are reasons why I tend to go to a high
street coffee shop (either a chain, department store or independent) when out
and about. There, I can chat when placing my order and then be left to enjoy my
drink in peace.
So, if you are part of a church which runs a café, or which
has coffee mornings, can I please ask you to bear this in mind, particularly if
people at the church believe that it can be good for mission. I certainly
believe that it can, but it can also be a turn-off, if visitors are not made
welcome.
For what it’s worth, I am of the opinion that on the whole,
church coffee mornings are bad for mission for the reasons stated above. There
will be exceptions to this, but I believe this to be the general rule of thumb.
That said, they are good pastoral opportunities. As a minister, I am able to go
along to the churches where I work, hear the church news, find out how people
are doing and chat to whoever may be there. Pastoral, yes, a fund-raiser, yes,
but not the best tool of mission.
My experience in Edinburgh was a good one. Perhaps over
coming months, I need to steel myself, visit some church coffee mornings
incognito and report back to see if my gut instinct has any reality about it or
not.
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